the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your dick, the rainbows can pwn anyone if you smoked crack before using this power

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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the power to shit out of your nose

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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Justin Bieber

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the power to have another pointless superpower

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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the ability to type slower.

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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The ability to part hair.

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!