The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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The Power to breath while under a cup of water

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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The power to see the past.

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The ability to make cheese, only edible to vegans, but only on leap days

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to give yourself any disease, but not the power to cure it.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to turn cake into pie

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!