To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power of knowing every fact about dolphins

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The power to a nokia phone.

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The power to smell like body odor at will

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The power to turn toast back into bread

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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the power to herd cats

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Invisible handwriting.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to make a rather pointless comeback here... Moral: See what I mean? ;),

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The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

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The power to take perfectly timed photos when nothing interesting is going on.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!