ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

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The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

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the power to pay 1 cent less then what items in the store cost

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to see everything that will happen in your future life when you die.

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The power to know where the beef is

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The power to freeze time, but not unfreeze it.

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The power to walk through air.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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The ability to turn wine into water...

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The power to live.

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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The power to type stupid superpowers when you sleepwalk.

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The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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the ability to type slower.

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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the power that will cut off your penis and just growing it back for every hour of your life

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!