Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

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The power to change different colours depending on you feel.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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the power to produce millions of dollars but be stranded on a deserted island!

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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the power to do sit on your couch all day

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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You're super strong, but only when punching SUV's.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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the ability to produce petrol from your ankles but only when you're on fire.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!