The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to be hating when you see me rollin. Moral: ;D

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power to turn into random objects

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the power to eat an apple in an instant but you dont like apples

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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the power to go slower than a snail :l

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The power to shoot off your clothes at any moment while using your hands and feet

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The ability to not get sunburn, but only at night.

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The power to go back in time, but only 1 second back and with a 10 second recharge.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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The power to only be attracted to people under the age of 15.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power of being able to fly, but only on February 30th.

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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Superhuman strength at the expense of being completely paralyzed

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The power to have incredible wet orgasms. if you are a man.

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The power to teleport yourself one step away

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!