The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The ability to be in fashion.

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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All of aquaman's powers.

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power to die.

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The ability to have ALL the powers... But you have to have them activated by people you fight. Only the people you fight....

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to stop aging when outside of time. Moral: Twilight zone?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!