The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

thumb_up thumb_down +136

The ability to not live forever

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Which one is more pointless? 1. The power to have all of Suprman power, but lose them every time you needed. 2. The power to have all of Suprman power, but only to die from exposure to kryptonite.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the power to kiss your own ass

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

the power to play a flute to summon a black leprechaun but only when your on the verge of passing out

thumb_up thumb_down +106

the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers in a completely random order

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to drink parfume and not get disgusted

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to telepathically fold paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

To write a pointless power on paper to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The ability to write a pointless superpower, which was posted earlier without having read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to to excrete fluids from your body after digesting food or obtaining liquids

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to die when you get scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The Power of being able to do anything but does not work when you need it

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!