32% Levitation.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to communicate with earthworms.

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The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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power to make you the last man on earth, but all the ladies are lesbian

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The power to lock a public toilet door and climb over the walls with ease.

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The power to wear crocs.

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The power to realize when you are wasting your life typing useless shit on the internet

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to break your legs before hitting the ground after jumping off of heights

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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Being able to see exactly 0.001419 seconds into the future

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The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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The power to be immortal, but only on 29th February.

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The ability to not have an ability (The ability to be a paradox)

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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The power to have a power

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The power to instantly engrave your face into any urinal anywhere at will.

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The ability to be an anoying little twat like jack moore

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The ability to breathe in space,but only when there's oxygen

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!