The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

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The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

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The power of X-ray Viion, that gives you Eye Cancer from the radiation

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The power of gentle breeze

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The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The power drown in water

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to breath at will.

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The power to shrink, but only for roller coaster rides

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The power to vote for Hillary Clinton and be happy with the decision that you made.

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The power to don't see the banners, that not meaning that they are not there...

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the pouwer giv mee gramr

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The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

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The power to say IS every time in the same over the top dramatic way

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The power to find a paper clip when you need one.

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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Crap out everything you're allergic too

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!