The power to speak any language, provided that no one around you can understand it.

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The power to fall asleep at will. But it's only active when you're asleep.

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The power to easily dodge any bullets from any weapons ever... as long as the bullets are made of cheese.

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The power to pee out of your nose and drink out of your ears

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The power to be invisible but only to blind people.

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the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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The ability to fly 6 inches off the ground

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The power to f*ck yourself

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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the power to see into the present.

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The power to read while your eyes are open but you can't read while your eyes are closed.

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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The power to stop bleeding 3-5 days a month.

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The power to choose the next president of the united states of america.

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The power to pick something up and stay the same.

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Everything Hawkeye does

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The power to create ice out of thin air but only at -35 degree celcius and below.

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The power to talk to people miles away.

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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The power to eat multiple things at a time

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The power to die on command

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The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!