The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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the power to search pointless super powers when you could be doing something useful

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to drink alot of alcohol and not get drunk

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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the power to not own a spacial power!!

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The power to transform into a vegetable, but only one way

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the power to absorb other superpower, but no one have superpower

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The ability to understand women!!

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The power to run at walk speeds.

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The power to have the money to buy anything in the world, however you only have enough money to pay for the price of the object and not the taxes.

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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Being Aquaman

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The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Truth is in the eye of the beholder, I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEHOLDER!

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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the super power to remove your super power

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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The ability to lactate air.

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the power to-OMFG IT'S TAILS DOLL!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!