the power to jump high but u have no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +70

wast your time on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to kill yourself to take out a criminal... except for the fact that when you kill yourself you literally might as well be throwing a marshmallow at someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to see in the dark outside but only at day time.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to zoom in with your eyes, but only when looking to the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to appear in the center of the moon (in a hollow space) whenever you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to turn into air and go with the wind

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to be HUMAN

thumb_up thumb_down +46

To be able to cut grass to the femtometer of any desired length, but only whilst standing in the eye of a hurricane.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

the power to predict the future 3 minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Turn gold into lead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Smell chick peas from over two miles away

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to invent a secret language that everyone understand

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The power to make up a pointless superpower because you are to lazy to make up a good one

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the power to get really mad.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

To tell how many kids in a sweatshop it took to make your nike's

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ?????q? ???

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The power to slow the rate grass grows for 10 seconds every 13 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

the power to fail any test you want

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The power to know everything in the universe but you are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!