The powers to have super speed when you can't run anymore.

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The power to see the future but through a straw.

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The power to go back in time to when you were in Kindergarten for the soul purpose of eating the crayons before anyone else.

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The power to be white and have a the pingas a size of a black man. Moral: You cannot comprehend the power of the dark side.

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The power to bleed

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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the power to mourn the loss of loved ones

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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The power to have a hot mom and sister that constantly train you sexually so you can satisfy any woman. (useless my ass)

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the power to lift 5 tonnes above your head, but only for 0.1 seconds

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the power to have a power.

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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The power to be a toilet but you can´t transform back again for the hole eternity and you still keep your sense of smell and taste.

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the power to reseal bottle caps

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the power to be unable to have a power.

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the power to kill yourself

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The power to blink 1% faster than normal.

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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The power to speak in cursive

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The power of believing you have a real power when you don't (which doesn't make you have a power at all, and consequently, turns into a paradox). Self-paradox man!

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The power to make anything into toilet paper.

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The power to envision 1 possible death scenario for any person you look at.

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the power to shit liquidly

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!