The power to turn swans into pigeons (but not pigeons into swans)

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The power to state the obvious.

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turn green traffic light in red but only on your road

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to turn all of the air into a solid.

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Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

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The power to pee out your butt and poop out of your weenie

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The power to see through anything except air.

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The ability to piss lightning and be able to make people dance by wiggling your monobrow

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The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

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The power to stop aging when outside of time. Moral: Twilight zone?

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To be able to kill a Yak from 47 yards. No more, No less.

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The power to turn your self into a rock that is being thrown into a volcano.

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The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

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The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

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the ability to have every superpower that is pointless

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power of 50% levitation your legs would drag along the ground

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The ability to produce water but only when under water.

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The power to use your legs in such a way that you can effectively walk,run or stay still whenever you want.

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The power to make a Stegosaurus appear when you make a time-machine!

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The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

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The power to read someone's mind, but only if they're thinking of tacos.

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The power to see through transparent objects.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!