The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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The power to come back after death (you get a week or so to show of to people before you die again).

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the power to win the crying game

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The power to use windows 10.

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The power to be fat only when your at a party.

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The ability to see through clothes......but only the clothes your wearing.

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the power to fly but only 2 inches of the ground

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The power to aquire pointless superpowers

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifed blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents cars busses planes vehicles trucks lightning electricity meteors bombs rockets drugs addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys any sort of animal heat radio active waves radiation humans air pollution baseball bats food poisoning and insects.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The ability to sweat caramel

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the power to randomly sprout a paper clip once a month

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The power to go part way through walls

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The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The ability to come up with the idea for a new version of Windows.

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The ability to put your whole foot in your mouth.

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to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.

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The power to do anything within your limits.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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Being able to temporarily lift 10x what you can typically lift while simultaneously having the power that everything you touch immediately becomes 10x heavier.

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Laser vision but only if you are looking into a mirror

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the power to create a meme

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!