The power of perfect 20/20 hindsight

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to take control of cars that aren't moving.

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Gay mens power to making straight women like them...

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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the power to view the same insurance commercials over and over for years and recite them from memory

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The power to change your own emotions at will...WAIT THAT'S A REAL ONE !?

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the power of reanimating dead insects

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The power to be anyone you want but your still a nobody

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The power to have super-sweaty hands

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the power to know black lives do NOT matter

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the ability to copy other super power used against you, problem is your the only superhero

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The power to transform into anything you have already become

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The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

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the power to die tomorrow morning.

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The power to only tell the truth

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Solar Powered Vampire Abilities

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The ability to know what time it is, but only when you have a watch on.

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The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

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The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The ability to put your whole foot in your mouth.

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The power to make yourself get a cramp at will.

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Being able to shit a brick every time you blink

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!