Turn gold into lead.

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The power to die when you die

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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Autokinesis (the ability to move your own body).

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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the ability to fly to Pluto holding ur breath

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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the ability to own a computer without a power cord

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The power to change delicious chocolate fudge into mud of the exact colour and texture.

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to know the perfect rebuttal, but only after you've lost and nobody cares about what you were arguing about anymore.

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

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The power to eat anything in a minute.

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The power to be immune to every third bullet.

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the power to fly but only about 5 feet above the grove, and only after you fart

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the power to be a shitstick on a stick with a shitstick on a shit with a shitstick

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The power to instantly faceplant when jumping

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Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

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To be able to make a pencil dull... Get it it point less!!!!!

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The power to turn invisible but only when playing a trombone

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!