The power to potato.

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The power to come up with useless power while you could be doing something literally ANYTHING else

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The power to hold the floor down using gravity.

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the ability to drive on the hood of the car

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the power to shit bicks

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the ability to be a box of donuts in a police station

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The power to reverse crab walk at extremely high speeds

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The power to see into the present

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The power to have super speed but only when you're wearing tight leather pants.

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The power to hold your breath for one to two minutes.

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A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

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The power to not talk but only when nobody is around five feet of you

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The power to tickle somone with your mind, but only after they heard a funny joke.

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The power to shrink, but only for roller coaster rides

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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The power to bread toast!

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The power to save 16% or more on your auto insurance

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the ability to masturbate in front of your grandma

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The power to be Chuck Norris's bitch.

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The ability to pee your pants at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!