The power to eat edible things.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The power to think about pointless superpowers at any time.

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The power to piss with REALLY high force.

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Faster than a loaded bullet!

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to get thumbs down.

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the power to be allergic to every thing

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the ability to kill people with your mind as long as they are dead

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The power to forget why you got hurt when you get hurt.

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The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to be illiterate when you open a book.

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Balls.

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i remember coming up with one once, the ability to flash step, like teleportation, but it uses up the same amount of wear and tear on your body(and clothing/footwear) and stamina as if you walked a straight line there (say you were Stepping to the top of mount everest, the same amount of physical exhaustion and bodily wear and tear as if you tilted the earth, laid a flat board to the summit, and walked across it, and untilting the earth, all in an instant). where the only convenience obtained is time saved, but there would also be the issue of being constantly exhausted, the near limitless amounts of food needed to be consumed, and the constant need for sleep would make this power essentially useless except for convenience, you COULD say this is similar to stopping time, but with far more limitations, as its only used for moving from one place to another

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the power to see through tv's but only when your trying to watch one

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Gay mens power to making straight women like them...

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The power to run people over with a tractor.

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The power to be fat only when your at a party.

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the power to know black lives do NOT matter

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The power to die randomly,for no reason.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!