The ability to get a joke exactly ten minutes after every one else gets it

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The ability to blow strawberries

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A power level of under 9000.

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The power to drink any amount of water but get dehydrated in the next 5 seconds. :/

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The power to read Sarah Palin's mind

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To survive listening to James Blunt

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The power to love but never be loved (a.k.a the story of my life)

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The power to be 6% fireproof

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The power to think about useless power

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The power to be able to hold your farts while you pee.

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the ability to invent in the speed of light good useless super powers ideas.

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The power to vomit whenever you want to.

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The power to walk through walls, but only when your standing still.

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The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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the power to poop out cactuses when no toilets are in a hour drive length away

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The power to be Emperor of farmville but only in a full eclipse

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The power to return to life but only after being ritually buried 6ft underground

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power to poop out of you mouth and eat through your.... you know

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The power to fuck everyone.

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the power to think up AWSOME funny pointless powers but never have the guts to put them on Pointless Superpowers

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The power to have car insurance, but only when you don't have a car.

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The power to know the perfect rebuttal, but only after you've lost and nobody cares about what you were arguing about anymore.

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the power to fall asleep whenever you want, but only in bathtubs

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The ability to pickle cumbers at an accelerated rate

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!