The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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The power to get 100% on every test but get caught for cheating.

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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the power of having super fast growing body hair. It grows a half inch a day.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to know exactly when you are going to die, instantly! (died instantly)

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penis

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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your balls glow in the dark 6am every day

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the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

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u?op ?p?s-dn p??? o? ?????q? ???

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

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The power to breath while under a container of water

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The ability to have ALL the powers... But you have to have them activated by people you fight. Only the people you fight....

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The power to break out of jail when you're not in jail.

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The ability to have a Prius the literally yells out "IIIIIII"MMMMM GAY"

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The power to travel faster then the speed of smell

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The power to teleport a real life Herobrine in your face

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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The power to piss rainbows only in torrential downpours.

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The power to live with only one kidney

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Ability to Fly!...a plane

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!