THE ABILITY TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS

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the power to fly, but only at the speed of light you, for less than 1 second, but you must land at the exact same spot you started and your mind cannot comprehend anything any differently than a normal human

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The power to guess a multiple choice answer correctly some of the time.

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The ability to turn anything into cheese, but be lactose intolerant.

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The ability to defecate red clay bricks when startled or scared

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The Power to make people see a picture of you naked in their heads.

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The power to cure a ham

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To survive listening to James Blunt

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The power to cry lava.

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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The ability to be Rihanna only if in a car with Chris Brown

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the power to command the sperm you ejaculate

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the power to dance in the dark

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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The ability to fly, but only as high as you are tall.

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The ability to piss flames.

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The power to eat just one Lays potato chip

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The pointless superpower to make any situation awkward.

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The power to blink slightly less often.

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The ability to goatse instantly

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!