The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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Ability to emit soap from your ears in the sun

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The ability to stub your toe on every object near you when walking.

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the power to think of useless super powere like this one

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To have to ability to lose the game, even with hax.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

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The power to to type Pointless Super Powers

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air and have bones made of glass.

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!