The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to stare at deckchairs without blinking

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The power to be an idiot.

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The ability to produce rainbows and yoghurt from your armpits.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to have night vision when there's daylight.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!