Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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The power to ejaculate at command

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

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The power to walk on water. Unless its above 0 degrees celcius.

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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Ability to be Austin Calhoun when hes sick

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the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

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The power to shrink boobs

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to bypass capcha codes

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to fall in love reptiles

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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The power to shit on the ceiling

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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the power to become translucent

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!