The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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the power to summon a pen, once

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The power to type random pointless powers on a website for pointless powers.

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being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to have no superpower

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to turn toast back into bread

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!