- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

The power to find the end of the sticky tape

The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

The ability to push "pull" doors, and pull "push" doors.

To have the power to breathe

the ability to fly 5 centimeters above ground

The power to re grow hair as soon as it gets cut off.

The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

The power to come up with the most funny joke ever made but forget the punch-line when ever you try to tell someone.

The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

the ability to levitate

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power to flap your arms uncontrollably every time a hot girl walks past you.

The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

Pointless Super Powers