The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to flap your arms uncontrollably every time a hot girl walks past you.

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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the power to do nothing

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to change colors to the excact same as before.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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The power to break bones at will.

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The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!