- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the ability to run as fast as you want but never be able to slow down...

The power to clap 14 times a second

The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers in a completely random order

The power to ejaculate laser beams.

the power to summon rick astley whenever you want to, but only when you're the only one in the room, so only you can hear him

the ability to constantly have the fever

The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

The power to be black, but only if you are at a KKK meeting

The power to make money disappear.

the power to eat anything edible but not if it's edible.

the power to Shoop Da whoop out of your bum hole

The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

The ability to go forward in time at will.

The power to quote memes randomly

The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

The power to be invisible but only in the dark.

the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

The ability to smell colors

The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

The Ability to shit studs once a week

Smell chick peas from over two miles away

The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

Pointless Super Powers