The power to self destruct

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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The power to teleport through open doors.

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The ability to perfectly recall the and only the third digit in a series of numbers.

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the power to send text messages while driving

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The ability to smell colors

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to breath at will.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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being black

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!