the power to ejaculate when a hot girl walks by

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The power to run at the speed of ligth but only when running complete circles

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the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

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power to poop out 5x5 ice cube

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power to be a woman

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The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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to be shitty

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the power to piss at will but only when your bladder is full

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The power to accelerate your own aging when you're happy. Unfortunately it's irreversible.

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The superpower to die in a 1 second.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The ability to turn wine into water...

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!