The power to not get shit dick

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to be constantly reminded of the game

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ability to have sexual intercourse with homosexuals like Levi Hahne

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The power to urinate in mouth.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to think of food

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The power to turn random things that you touch into water, like in a schick hydro commercial

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The power to turn into random objects

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The ability to tolerate listening to Nick Cannon's albums.

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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The power to turn jelly into peanut butter, but only in quantities of 17 gallons.

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The power to turn into a koi fish... but only when there is no water around.

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The power to do a back flip by drinking water during a front flip

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!