The power to undress using your mind...but only when in the presense of a rapist

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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The power to pee and poop at the same time.

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The power to stand still for five hours

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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Being a freemason

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to be invisible to only yourself.

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The power to make hot women have sex, but only with guys that you don't know.

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The ability to make cringe worthy YouTube videos

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The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

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The power to see the future, but have nobody believe you.

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the power to go back in time, but only back 1 second.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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The ability to part...hair.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!