The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to control Rollie pollies

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

thumb_up thumb_down +76

the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Invisibility when people aren't looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to get hard at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to breathe oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to have a unique fart smell

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to eat soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to poop but only in bushes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to light glue on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to drown on land.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!