The power to get hard at will.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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the power to jerk off

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The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

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The power to transform your foreskin to rusty iron.

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The power to eat soap.

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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the power to be powerless

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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Nipple Radar.

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!