the power to stop writing pointless super powers

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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The power to make a small hamster yawn.

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The power to summon a bucket of lukewarm water every 12 days.

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The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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The power to fall down in a forest, and, if none is around, noone will hear you.

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The power to age 2% faster every time you see the color purple.

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The power to bleed on command

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The power to always reach just half an inch away from the spot on your back that itches

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The power to piss only when sleeping.

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to cry if you hear or see the word cry

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The Power to lose a fight before it begins

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The power to have a V8

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The power to type 1,000 words per minute, but only on a 12 key tracphone ®

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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the ability to click your fingers and lose your hands

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power to eat through your but

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!