The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

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Telekinetic power over styrofoam

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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the power to beathe

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The power to fall off a tree, then land in spikes.

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The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

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the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to dance really well

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Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.

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The power to transform into an ant, but only on busy pavements in the after work rush.

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Immunity to antipsychotic medication

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to make dad jokes.

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!