The ability to propel yourself and others away from you by sneezing.

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The power to turn into Donald Trump hair

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The power to realize when you are wasting your life typing useless shit on the internet

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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the power to see farther, but only in pitch blackness

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the power to die at will

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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the ability to walk through your clothes

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to fly but only in an airplane.

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The power ti find tiny shards of glass with your bare feet.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The power to fall up.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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Der pawr tu speek kat langwage

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power to be the smartest creature in the universe but only 3 seconds a day

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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the power of being cut off mid senta

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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the power to youtube poop

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The power to get out of finger locks, only by switching fingers.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!