The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

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The power to have everyone in the universe believe you are dead. Including you.

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Taekwondo

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The power to get extreme orgasms random, often in very awkward situations.

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The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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the power to write comic books

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The power to walk into a room and not forget what you where going to do.

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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the power to have diarrhea at any time

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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The power to not see ads

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the power to control urine

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The ability to fly at will but only if you are zoned out

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The power to jump face first

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

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The ablility to think of the worst racial slurs, but only when a member of that race is nearby.

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the power to eat only one lays potato chip

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the power to die at will

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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the power to dislike this power

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!