The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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The power to when you get scared, you fart.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to create ice out of thin air but only at -35 degree celcius and below.

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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The power of getting a boner, but only when your mother is near...

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The power to see what happened in yesterdays future... Moral: meh.

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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the power to shit bricks

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the power to turn invisible when no one else is around.

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The power to change the tv channel only when you have the remote in your hands.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to make terrible puns and drink ketchup non-stop, otherwise known as being Sans.

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the power to make ur fingernails fall and the go into a coma when someone says hello.

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to read but only when your using audio read.

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!