The power to take away powers but only your own.

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The power to think you love her but you don't.

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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the power to fart every time you blink

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The power to shrink, but only for roller coaster rides

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The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

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The Power to waste one's own time, watching a video, about someone else wasting their time, making a video, listing a small list of pointless super powers.

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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the power to think about pointless powers while watching pointless powers vid and writing a pointless power

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The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The power to turn a boomerang into a doggy toy

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The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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The power to when you get scared, you fart.

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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The power to see what happened in yesterdays future... Moral: meh.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!