The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

the power to make ur fingernails fall and the go into a coma when someone says hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to be invisible to only yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to read but only when your using audio read.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to give people an inexplicable hatred for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to not lie wall you activate"I Agree To TheTerms Of Sevice"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Power to see through walls, but it only works with glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

the power to fly, but only at the speed of light you, for less than 1 second, but you must land at the exact same spot you started and your mind cannot comprehend anything any differently than a normal human

thumb_up thumb_down +59

The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

thumb_up thumb_down +53

the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

thumb_up thumb_down +51

the power to summon fire with a lighter

thumb_up thumb_down +51

the ability to lick your own anus

thumb_up thumb_down +49

The power to not be funny

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power of micro penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

the power to hate nature

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!