The power to read your own thoughts.

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To tell how many kids in a sweatshop it took to make your nike's

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The ability to fly but only if you're on the ground

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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Power to stop a moving oslating fan from moving.

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The power to have bad luck!

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The power to divide by zero, but not remember how when someone asks you.

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The power to kill yourself, but revive at the same age only to find yourself in the other gender.

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The superpower to makr Thanksgiving turkey taste like rotten eggs!

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The power to be 10% more comfortable when sitting on a really uncomfortable couch.

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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The power to change the channel without a remote, but only but only if you're holding the remote.

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The power to turn food into shit.

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to power to pick your nose without anybody seeing

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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The power to be able to run at the speed of light only when you have no energy to stand up

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The power to read your own mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!