The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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The power to turn cancer into aids.

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The power to shit rainbows but have incredible pain while shitting them.

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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the abitlity to turn into a duck, but not turn back.....

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The power to be incredibly stupid only when answering exams.

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the power to talk to fish but not people

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The pewer to kill elderly people by sneaking up behind them and yelling: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT!

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Pain Absorber. Where u rid others of their pain but suffer yourself !!

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The ability to see through clear, colorless glass.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.

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Any telePATHETIC power you may get.

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

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The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

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The power ,once a week, to give someone you don't know, that is at least 500 miles away from you, minor flatulence.

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The power to not burn but only when its under 32 degrees fahrenheit

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The power to become extremely intoxicated only during job interviews

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the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to shape-shift into a chair, but only a chair

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The ability to turn your semen into spiders.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!