The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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The powers to lose your current power forever

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The power to instantly ressurect at the very same spot if you get submerged under lava or acid.

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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The power to levitate mustard.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The power to move things by 1cm with your mind.l

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

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The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

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The power to smell like poop once every hour.

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The ability to find objects in the last place you look

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The power to know what Willis is talking about.

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The power to live through torture.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!