The power to piss your pants each time you feel threatened.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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the power to give any goatAIDS using your penis

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The power to commit suicide.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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the power to shoot superman

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The power to shit in your eye

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The Power to bite your own ear.

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The power to sneeze with your eyes opened.

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The power to download anything you want to 99 percent complete.

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The power to make every stop sign I see say "Stop HAMMERTIME"

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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the power to fall asleep while being awake

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The power to light little sticks on fire by rubbing them quickly on the box they came in.

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The Ability To Stop Existing Only When You Already Don't Exist

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The power to taste anything you smell.

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The power to have an endless amount of bladder space, but you are born lacking the ability to urinate.

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The power to have the money to buy anything in the world, however you only have enough money to pay for the price of the object and not the taxes.

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The power to sleep with your eyes open but you still can't see what's going on

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The power to drive better when you're drunk yet run into furniture once you get home.

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!