The power to levitate mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

[insert pointless super powers here]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the ability to make real zero dollar bills

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to heal yourself when your not hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to smell like poop once every hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the power to permanently change your name to Graham

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the power to fly if you are touching the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to know what Willis is talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The power to live through torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The power to be bad at everything

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!