the power to be a complete troll

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The ability to make red lights turn green by simply staring and waiting

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to make someone see your smile slightly whiter

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The power to fly only when in a car.

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the power to cook instant pasta in less than 1 min.

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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having superpowers during the inquisition

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The power to forget what pointless superpower you were going to write

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The power to turn into wood by rubbing salt on yourself

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the ability to teleport far away from here but still be stuck

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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The power to die at any moment you want.

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the power to jay walk, and never get caught. (your superhero name then must be Jay Walker)

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The power to sneeze scissors

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The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

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the power to control nothing

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The power of always having small, thin clothes in the winter.

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to hear train whistles from 50 miles away.

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Expert level knowledge of the Kardashian lore

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!