The power to suck deez nuts

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the power to become retarded

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The power to swim as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog

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The ability 2 breath underwater, but not above water

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The ability to fly but your hand have to touch the earth

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The power to vote for Osama Bin Laden for president. Moral: And to believe it could still be worse...

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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The power to come back after death (you get a week or so to show of to people before you die again).

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The power to pause and resume time, but you also pause yourself.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power to only like foods that are at least two different colors, but only on Thursdays. All the other days are whatever you wanna eat :D

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The power to get foot-boners

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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the power to turn people to stone but only if you look in the mirror

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The ability to get a degree in performing arts

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The power to resist trolling.

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The power to get AIDS.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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the power to walk through unlocked doors

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The power to create garbage out of nowhere.

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Solar Powered Vampire Abilities

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power to feel pain when your drinking acid.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!